Eddie Hall can’t go anywhere, by his own admission. He can’t even enjoy a picnic at the park without fans interrupting him. He can’t go to the supermarket, get his hair cut, or jump into a class of hot yoga without mobs forming. The fans, by Eddie’s own word, are usually polite, hoping for an autograph, a selfie, or just a high-five. But it gets old. It’s hard being Eddie Hall, especially in the United Kingdom. It’s kind of like Beatlemania. Others have compared Eddie’s popularity to that of Morrissey from The Smiths or the band Oasis. Britain loves its celebrities, whether it’s The Royal Family, music stars, or Eddie Hall. It’s hard being this popular and this adored. I couldn’t do it. I would go insane, but Eddie carries this cross throughout his life, making an indelible difference in the lives of millions. But sometimes, this larger-than-life British icon just wants to sit at home and relax. Unfortunately, this trendsetting visionary doesn’t get to enjoy the silence. And that’s when he might try to get people just to leave him alone.
Celebrities are usually just like everyone else, but their fame makes them seem like gods in the hearts and minds of those who admire them. Very few people could relate to the hysteria that Eddie Hall has created around himself. Justin Bieber, Kanye West, and Jay-Z have all been followed around for years. No matter how high their fences and bushes are, the paparazzi just won’t leave them alone. But none of these people could even begin to comprehend the sheer insanity that ensues when hardcore fans see Eddie Hall. The man is bigger draw than Jesus in the United Kingdom. This level of adulation has not been seen since Diana Frances Spencer. That said, it’s safe to say that Eddie Hall has far surpassed the level of Princess Di. Still, Eddie Hall draws the line when it comes to his home.
Eddie’s home is his castle. This includes the public road in front of his house, any sidewalk, and may include airspace and outer space. It may also extend to the subterranean portions of his home. Eddie Hall must protect his castle and his family. So when some cars dared stop on the public road in front of his house, Eddie Hall’s wife and their elite guard dog, approached the vehicles and ordered them to keep driving. Although it seemed that it was a public road, it was the public road in front of Eddie Hall’s home. Therefore, Eddie Hall’s wife had the full authority to tell these peasants to keep driving. The only person who could defy these directives by the wife of Eddie Hall would have been King Charles III or Prince William. Sadly, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, would also have to obey Ms. Eddie Hall’s orders. When the peasants in the BMW’s argued that it was a public road and that they would remain, it was at that point that Eddie Hall decided to resolve the matter.
After all these commoners had encroached on Eddie Hall’s realm. It’s been rumored they were playing music out of their stereos and some have been gone so far as to allege they may have honked their horns. Eddie Hall could not allow his family and home to be threatened in this matter. So instead of phoning the police, Eddie proceeded to approach the vehicles and threaten them with seriously bodily injury. When the cars tried to escape, Eddie Hall chased them down his public road and threatened them with more physical bodily harm. This is what a real man does when protecting his family. But Eddie is not alone. All of Britain will surely understand why he had to take such drastic measures.
There are certain things that are not to be played with. Eddie Hall stood valiantly in harm’s way. When those car horns went off and those stereos blasted Alejandro by Lady Gaga, he knew what needed to be done. There comes a point in time when certain men must rise to the occasion. Not all men are willing to put it all on the line and defend their country, defend their families, and defend their way of life. Some men may know what this means, like those who defied the odds defending the Alamo, but even they pale in comparison to Eddie Hall. Although he may look like an roided out imbecile running down the street shouting at cars, Eddie Hall did this for his family. He did this for Britain.
God Save Eddie Hall! We love you Eddie Hall.
