Many times it’s difficult to understand what true love is all about. And that’s because so few of us ever really experience it. We have moments in our lives where we feel absolutely incredible and we want to believe that that is true love, but in reality true love is something greater than that. The joy that you feel is unparalleled but at the same time it can also successfully be put to the test time in and time out. It can endure hardships, trials, and tribulations. It can last an entire lifetime.It can be so powerful that even after both people have left us, their friends and families and everyone who came into contact with them speak about how strong their bond was. So in reality, true love survives even life. It goes on and on until the end of time. And that is the kind of connection that I think Ken and Amy had. Sometimes true love can be found with high school sweethearts, maybe in college days, or just waiting in line to get a cup of coffee. It can also be found through the mutual love of weight-training, strength-training, and the pursuit of building the ultimate physique. It can happen anywhere; it can happen at any time. And I believe it happened for Ken and Amy.
I met both of these amazing individuals at a gym in Michigan that is no longer an operation. I met them at a time when they were very much involved in the strength community, but they always had a foot in bodybuilding as well. They had a mutual love for both sports and as folks who worked in the gym world, they were able to inspire countless individuals into training the right way and pursuing their dreams even though there may not have been much of a sport to begin with in the area. Gyms have an ability to bring strength and physique athletes together. And when there are no shows or meets, they can be strong vehicles to get them organized. If you have a solid gym in your corner, that’s a huge step in the right direction. It makes it easier for sponsors to sign on and competitors to sign up.
Ken and Amy both were both instrumental in the strength and physique communities. Years after our first meeting, they had become fixtures in Pittsburgh for all of the big shows and their relationships with the NPC and IFBB Pro League had become ironclad. They also continued to work in the strength community. They were like a couple of machines in sync. They lifted, they built businesses, and they lived for each other. And they absolutely loved what they were all about. The work was still tiring, but oh so fulfilling. Their love was evident in so many regards.
I think that true love is very, very powerful, even if we personally do not ever get to experience it, we can see it with others. We can appreciate it and we can definitely see how it differs from flings and the seemingly endless cycle of online dating and singles’ mixers. It’s when two people are not just romantically involved but are involved in all aspects of life. Where they truly take an interest in each other and for better or for worse, they are in it for the long haul. That is very significant. It gives the rest of us hope that we could find someone like that in the future. But it’s not something you can look for. It’s something that finds you. And it’s something that you have to work for once you have it. Seeing Ken and Amy together felt like they were two peas in the same pond, like they were fully in sync. She knew what he was thinking and he knew that she was thinking and they never said a word to each other in the process. It was as if they were perfectly intertwined. That is something that I, as an observer, could appreciate whenever I would come into contact with them. It’s one thing for you to believe that you have found true love, but it’s quite another when everybody around you recognizes it as well.
Just as we have no idea when true love will find us, we have no idea when those we love will leave us.
Mourning comes in a variety of different approaches. Some people will tell you that it’s normal to mourn for a week or a month or a year, but then they will tell you that it’s time to “move on.” They will tell you that you can always remember the person but that it shouldn’t obsess your life. They will tell you that you should meet other people and you should not live in the past. All of these people with their unsolicited opinions probably do not know what it’s like to really meet someone who completes you. They may mean well, but it’s their insistence that is what I take objection with. They’re not just advising you to move on, but it annoys them on some level when you don’t.
I’ve always believed that we are all halves and when we find that special other person we become a whole. It’s even said in the Bible that when a man and a woman marry they become one. It’s as if they become one person. I believe that 100%, and in believing that, I don’t think that you can ever move on. I don’t think that you can compartmentalize such an important part of your life and somehow turn the page. I’m not saying that you can’t have a future and I’m not saying that you don’t deserve a future I’m just saying that the more powerful the connection, the more difficult it will be to walk away from it. And I also am of the belief that “living in the past” may not be as destructive as some people may have you believe.
I believe that denying yourself the ability to appreciate all of the good times, no matter how long after your loved one has passed, does you a disservice as well. I absolutely love seeing Ken post photos of Amy and talk about the many beautiful memories that they made together. I would hope that he is in a good place emotionally and that he is living with her in mind, that he is enjoying life, that he’s traveling and that he is doing right by himself. That’s what our loved ones would want for us. But I don’t think that there’s anything problematic about remembering a person in daily life. I think that Ken is simply celebrating Amy’s life and celebrating the relationship they had together. I think that is noteworthy, so much so that I’m writing an article about it.
I believe Ken and Amy will reunite again in the Kingdom of Heaven. We’re all guests here. This life is by no means the end of the road. And that’s not wishful thinking or a happy ending for this article. I truly believe we all will be rejoined with our loved ones after this life. God bless you, Ken. You’ve got a great many people who care about you, who will always remember Amy, and know how close you both were. She’s very much with you brother – in a very real way.
