Just when you thought you’d seen it all, Kali Muscle resurfaces after collapsing in the gym and being rushed off to the hospital, with a very bizarre explanation of what led to this unfortunate event. The social media influencer who went viral for reliving his penitentiary days and slapping pale gymbros on the back at large fitness expos suffered a second widow maker heart attack. After several days, if not a solid week, of silence, he reappeared on a 12 minute video seemingly to calm the ruckus over his health and well-being. Initially, Kali seemed to speak from the heart. He spoke about how he used to live – from the steroid use to the eating and the training. Unfortunately, his honest streak didn’t last long. Instead of really talking about the dangers of performance enhancement drugs, he set his sights on some unexpected culprits – pineapple, watermelon, oatmeal, and rice.
Since when do carbs cause heart attacks? Kali did talk about some preexisting issues (e.g. swollen ankles), but ultimately his rationale seemed to lack substance. Then he talked about how training enthusiasts don’t need to use PED’s to achieve what he did. He advocated the natural path. That’s all great, but it too is rubbish. No one – even the most genetically individual – can achieve steroid-like physiques, naturally. No one who looked like Kali or Rich Piana in their expo-prime can do that naturally. In fact, they may not be able to do it with steroids alone, either. We’ve all heard the rumors of site enhancing oils, PMMA, and even implants. The mere suggestion that the natural way can lead to these gargantuan looks is insulting.
Kali Muscle has never been one to put out good information. For years he promoted eating Ramen noodles to gain size. His energy drink was admittedly Coca Cola and instant coffee. He’s never been transparent about his actual protocols. In fact, years ago, he actually lashed out at Rich Piana for doubting his nattiness when asked by a journalist on video. The bottom line is that everything Kali puts out is carefully scripted and tediously studied before it ever sees the light of day. I don’t dislike him, but I’m onto him. He’s one of many that have lined their pockets with social media fame. He didn’t make the video to come clean about what happened, he made the video because too many people were talking and too many people were asking the kinds of questions that could affect his following and position on the social media pecking order. It’s all about vanity and presence. Health and well-being take a backseat to both.
As I stated on my video reaction, I’m very happy that Kali is with us. Despite all his junk diet advice and his glorifying of his prison days, he’s entertaining to some. His content has never been my cup of tea, but to deny that it resonates with a sizeable chunk of the bodybuilding audience would be preposterous at this point. He’s outlasted many of his social media contemporaries and continues to get traffic. That said, his numbers aren’t what they were, but he’s also dated to certain extent. We all get older, as do our audiences. Nonetheless, he’s been able to carry on. He’s changed his content from bodybuilding-only to gaming and other pursuits, he’s downsized physique-wise, and even taken more eclectic plunges like exploring veganism and fruitarianism.
Kali even changed the color of his eyes – permanently. Despite the very real risks, he went ahead and underwent eye surgery for vanity’s sake. There’s no medical benefit to changing one’s eye color. I can’t imagine it’s very cheap, either. But you know what? It made him happy so he did it. That’s both admirable as well as insane. Nevertheless, Kali Muscle lives life by his own terms. You have to respect that on some level. It’s like popular slang term YOLO – you only live once.
Do I believe him that pineapple and oats caused his second widow maker? Absolutely not. But with influencers like Kali Muscle, you learn to appreciate the entertainment, while holding your nose to the bullshit that comes with it.
